Common Arguments Couples Have While Wedding Planning


words by // Eve Green

Once you become engaged, your life will be filled with highs, such as your engagement party and saying yes to the dress. However, this exciting time will also be filled with some not so fun lows - like arguing with your soon to be spouse. Every couple fights from time to time, and it’s almost unavoidable during the engagement period. And it’s understandable due to the stress involved when faced with so many decisions. Deciding and coming to an agreement on dollars to spend and people to please . . . things can get a little contentious. Here are the most Common Arguments Couples Have While Wedding Planning.

1. The Guest List is Causing Family Tension

The Knot states the average wedding in America comes in at $33,931, excluding honeymoon expenses. That number is based on 140 guests, breaking down to an approximate cost of $243 per guest. Keeping your guest list under control will help you manage wedding costs, but this will take cooperation from both sides of the family. Give both families a set number of guests they can invite and if they go over that number, request that they chip in to cover the cost of the additional guests. In order to avoid hurt feelings or a major blow-up, focus on keeping the guest list disbursement fair and balanced. 

2. Your Partner Isn’t Sharing the Wedding Planning Duties

It’s not uncommon for one person to take charge of the wedding planning, but having an uninterested fiancé who doesn’t share in any of the wedding planning duties can be at best frustrating, and at worst, concerning. You may start wondering what’s behind your partner’s lack of enthusiasm. Is he or she just genuinely not interested in the finer details of wedding planning (think color scheme and florals) or is there a deeper issue? In order to avoid frequent arguments about wedding planning duties, keep the lines of communication open and take time to sit down with your partner to calmly discuss your concerns in a non-accusatory manner. Remind him or her that this wedding is about the both of you and also try to find wedding planning tasks that snag their interest, such as honeymoon planning. If your partner keeps putting off the wedding date or refuses to make any concrete decisions, these are major red flags. Otherwise, this all-too-common issue is normal and may be easily overcome with frequent communication.  

3. You Can’t Agree on a Honeymoon Destination

It can be difficult to decide on the perfect honeymoon destination and for you and your partner to agree on the final choice. When it comes to celebrating your nuptials with an epic getaway, there are endless possibilities. Sit down with your partner and put together a list of vacation must haves. This may include an all-inclusive resort, a foreign destination, or a destination neither of you has visited. If you still can’t come to an agreement about where to honeymoon, consider enlisting the help of a travel agent. An agent can present you with destination options you may not have considered, and will discuss your wants and needs thoroughly to help the two of you select the perfect honeymoon location.

Having a disagreement with your fiancé can be distressing. It’s easy to fall into the mindset that these arguments are indicative of a deeper issue or that you shouldn’t be having so many disagreements during this special time in your life. In all likelihood, the pressure of planning a wedding, added with the stress of spending more money than you have in your entire life is probably playing a major role in these disagreements. To help you through this stressful time we highly encourage every couple to consider premarital counseling. This is the process by which a couple is guided by a qualified professional to discuss and explore important relationship topics. This will not only smooth the time leading up to the wedding, but will also help you form a strong foundation for an enduring and happy marriage.